margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
no, he came in my armpit
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
