is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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