Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
