So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
