I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize