we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
