is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
