i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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