I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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