That's when you crack a 10am beer
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
