Your face is a jimmy john
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
