easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
