dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
