If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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