Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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