i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
