Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
