She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
