32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
