She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
