I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
