Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
