I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
