its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
