It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
