glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
