Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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