let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
