Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
