He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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