Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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