she was so not down for the gang bang
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
