Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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