Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
