i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
