You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
