I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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