i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
