I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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