I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
