Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
