I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
