you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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