She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize