If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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