im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
