Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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