Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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