Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
