He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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