I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
