Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Randomize
