He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
