All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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