apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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