He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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