this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
