she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize