I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize