He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
