I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
