I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
