If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
