I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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