rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
