I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
